Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Khalil Gibran on Parenting

Jeej and Nido, here are words I wrote based on a previous post. Since you are a cross-cultural blend of East and West, I thought it may encourage you as you blend the best of both cultures in your parenting, as you do in your marriage! God bless you as you begin the journey of sacrifice called parenting! :D Kinzi


Khalil Gibran on Child Rearing

I am saddened at times when I hear my friends quoting the latest from Oprah, Dr. Phil or Super Nanny as the ultimate gospel in child-rearing technique. As good as some of it is, it is definitely Western advice, suiting the current cultural trends and values of the West. When we read about problems in American schools such as shootings, drug use, and promiscuity, I wonder if these techniques (and those used the generation before) are really that effective. When I was young, the threat of a swat on the behind from the school principal kept the trouble-makers in-line; and that was when talking back to a teacher was a major infraction.

Perhaps we would do well do go back to wisdom from the East for fresh look at the foundations of parenting. Although born and raised in California to Anglo-Saxon parents, these were the words we were taught as children:


A woman who held a babe against her bosom said, “Speak to us of Children.”

And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

My pre-hippie Bohemian parents raised us not according to any religion, but the words of Khalil Gibran. Maybe that is one of the reasons I feel at home in the Middle East. I love this imagery…children as living arrows meant to fly, parents as the steady, stable bow. The Almighty God, standing behind the parents to bring both the stability and the ‘bending’ needed to prepare the arrows for flight. He, actively involve, close, guiding both, loving both in the process.

My parents took this passage to an extreme, encouraging independence before I was ready, as reaction to the control they felt from their parents. They chose to run from the stability and ‘bending’ of the Almighty. As a result, when we were finally shot out, two of us wanted to get so far away we crossed oceans and never returned. When I did find faith in God, I saw the inspiration of these words of wisdom from the Psalms and was able to return to the bows from which I was sent.

But I have also seen parents here in the Middle East who manipulate children into false dependency, not allowing them to truly fly: only far enough to meet the needs of the parents who can only find their identity in their children. Many parents try to create their children in their own image, either stretching or squashing the potential of the emerging individual. Arrows, by design, are not meant to stay in the quiver forever. They are meant to fulfill their destined purpose, aiming for their mark, soaring perhaps even far from the bow for a time. Bows, conversely, cannot be rigid and unyielding if the arrow is to succeed in flight. The bow does not bend by itself; it must be bent by another source to provide enough tension to release the arrow.

How extremely important to remember children are not our possessions, they do not ‘belong’ to us. We house their bodies for a relatively short time, and during that time we carry the heavy, but joyful responsibility of training, instructing, loving and empowering them. The time of releasing them is inevitable, and although we hope that they will return often to receive from the love and wisdom we continue to offer, the future belongs to them.

Oftentimes parenting is tension-filled, and we would rather ignore the ‘bending’ that comes when our children put us under pressure. It is easier to ignore, rather than confront, the heart motivations behind their wrong behaviour. It is also easier to deal in behaviour modification with them, rather than shepherd the hearts of our little lambs. But without a change of heart directing our children to their mark, obedience can be just a form of manipulation to avoid consequences. I myself am not finished learning the life-lessons provided by God through my children, and if I am yielded to His correction, my children will be more willing to learn from my example. I am thankful for the reminder provided by this well-loved Lebanese sage.

My job then, as a person of faith in parenting, is to become a student of my child, and of the One who lovingly guides the bow. But it seems that once I understand and ‘master’ one aspect of child-rearing, they have ‘mastered’ being reared and we are both at a new level! Which, of course, keeps me where I belong: on my knees before the Giver of Life seeking strength, stability and wisdom!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Happy Baby Shower!

Dear Nido
Hope you are having a great time with Maioush and her family, spending fun times and eating great food!
We, the ladies on the blogs, would like to give you this humble blog as a shower gift to you and your baby girl.
Mala2e6 created the blog with the nice template.
Maioush and Summer had the idea of giving you a baby shower online.
Batoul, Noura and your sister MIMI all participated in writing something for you.
Kinzi was invited to write something here but we think she is too busy to do it! She loved the idea and will post about it on her new article about mommy bloggers on the magazines she writes for on the March issue about moms who blog and mother's day.
We all hope that you have fun reading through the sentimental messages and the advice posts( although a little long at times).
Enjoy, with our best wishes to you and jeej with safe pregnancy and safe delivery.

Take care and enjoy!
Happy parenting!
Ladies on the blogs

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

It Is OK To Exercise While Pregnant

Few points to take notice of before you decide to work out while pregnant:

-Check with your doctor and get permission to exercise.

-Understand that if you were quite active before becoming pregnant, it's likely that you can continue what you were doing, with some modifications.

-Try non impact exercises, such as stationary cycling or water aerobics. Walking is also excellent; just be sure to have cushioned shoes.

-Shoot for three exercise sessions a week, and include rest days.

-Don't let yourself get too exhausted - the exercise should be refreshing, not draining. Your body is busy enough right now.

-Drink plenty of water and avoid getting too hot.

-Wear loose, comfortable clothing.

-Remember that pregnancy isn't the time to set any personal bests.

-Note that as you get bigger, your center of gravity changes, so watch your step with anything like step aerobics or jogging.

-Don't do any exercise while flat on your back once you pass the third month.

-Look for a mom-to-be exercise class at your hospital or fitness facility.

Posted by Summer

From MIMI to you...

Dear Nido,
having a caring, loving, wise, sensitive, funny sister like you, makes me feel happy for being your little sister, and sad for being apart from you. So how about this little baby you're about to have! She/He would say one day , I'm so lucky to have a mommy like you….
love you so much ! oxoxo
Mimi

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Breastfeeding

One of the best things that only YOU can do is to breastfeed your baby for as long as possible. While breastfeeding isn't the only option for feeding your baby, every mother has the potential to succeed and make it a wonderful experience. Here are helpful breastfeeding information. check out this article to find out how breastfeeding can be one of the most important things you do for both you and your baby!
Researchers found out that a mother's milk has just the right amount of fat, sugar, water, and protein that is needed for a baby's growth and development. Most babies find it easier to digest breast milk than they do formula. Breast milk has agents (called antibodies) in it to help protect infants from bacteria and viruses and to help them fight off infection and disease. Human milk straight from the breast is always sterile.
Breastfeeding saves times and money. You do not have to purchase, measure, and mix formula, and there are no bottles to warm in the middle of the night. Breastfeeding also helps a mother bond with her baby. Breastfeeding, especially exclusive breastfeeding (no supplementing with formula), delays the return of normal ovulation and menstrual cycles. (However, you should still talk with your doctor or nurse about birth control choices.)
Physical contact is important to newborns and can help them feel more secure, warm and comforted. Nursing uses up extra calories, making it easier to lose the pounds gained from pregnancy. It also helps the uterus to get back to its original size more quickly and lessens any bleeding a woman may have after giving birth. Breastfeeding also may lower the risk of breast and ovarian cancers.

There are many benefits to breastfeeding. Even if you are able to do it for only a short time, your baby's immune system can benefit from breast milk. As a result, breastfed infants grow exactly the way they should. They tend to gain less unnecessary weight and to be leaner. This may result in being less overweight later in life.
Premature babies do better when breastfed compared to premature babies who are fed formula.
Breastfed babies score slightly higher on IQ tests, especially babies who were born pre-maturely.
A mother can give her baby immediate satisfaction by providing her breast milk when her baby is hungry.
Breastfeeding requires a mother to take some quiet relaxed time for herself and her baby.
Breastfeeding can help a mother to bond with her baby. Physical contact is important to newborns and can help them feel more secure, warm and comforted.
Breastfeeding mothers may have increased self-confidence and feelings of closeness and bonding with their infants.
Breastfeeding saves on health care costs. Total medical care costs for the nation are lower for fully breastfed infants than never-breastfed infants since breastfed infants typically need fewer sick care visits, prescriptions, and hospitalizations.
Breastfeeding contributes to a more productive workforce. Breastfeeding mothers miss less work, as their infants are sick less often. Employer medical costs also are lower and employee productivity is higher.
Breastfeeding is better for our environment because there is less trash and plastic waste compared to that produced by formula cans and bottle supplies.
Posted by Summer

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Lullabies & More!

As tiny beings, babies require quite a few things the average human would need, but in smaller portions or in different wavelengths. For instance, sunlight…it's not that the sun will kill a baby, but if exposed to more than a certain amount, it could be harmful to the child. So also music…depending on the genre and volume, what a regular person may consider soothing or relaxing may actually be more than a child can handle.

Lullabies
are often sung by parents to calm babies, putting them to sleep, or simply spending time with them. The simple lyrics, nature, and storyline of lullabies are usually intended for children, and are therefore suitable for them. A parent can rock a child to sleep with a lull-a-bye, calm a discontented child, or singalong with a playing child.


Nido, make sure you learn few lullabies to sing for your baby! Even if you think you do not have a good voice, it will be great to connect with your baby through music!

There is no better place to sing these songs while you are rocking your baby to sleep or nursing her in a comfortable and cushiony rocking chair...It is a must have for every new mom and baby's room. You will find out that this rocking chair will provide both comfortable and soothing feelings to you and to your baby.
Posted by Summer

Thursday, February 7, 2008

~ Food For Thought . . .


Well who am I kidding, this dessert is so yummy you forget to think at all !!!
This recipe is called in Lebanon "Meghli",(مغلي) or "karawya", (كراوية) in Syria, and it is usually served to guests coming over to congratulate the new mom on the arrival of a newborn.. This recipe is special because it is mom's, she wrote to me because I love it and I think she would be happy to know that I have tested it a couple of times and am sharing with you too..
It is to be noted though that in Lebanon, ( Sorry, I don't know if this known in Jordan), we make it to the consistency of "Mouhalabiya",(مهلبية) while in Syria some prepare it as a sharab..

One funny note, we use to know that somebody had a baby in the building just by smelling this dessert..
So, here we go..This is what you need and you can always try it first by using half the measurements and it is a good idea to prepare the bowls ahead so you can pour it immediately and let them set and cool:

* 1 cup of fine rice
* 2 cups of sugar
* 7 cups of water
* 2 tsps. fine karawya or caraway
* 2 tsps. cinnamon
* A small bag of shredded coconut
* A variety of nuts of your taste like chopped walnuts, almonds, pine nuts and pistachios.

I recommend that you use a deep pot so when the mix start to buble you don't hurt yourself..Remember safety first :)
In the pot put all the dry ingredients, mix well..Add water and put on medium heat.. Keep stirring, the mix will become thick and thicker as it reaches a boiling point..
That is it, you remove it and pour it in the bowls and let it cool.. You can keep them covered in the fridge if you like to..ONCE YOU ARE READY TO SERVE, you sprinkle on top of them some coconuts and a variety of nuts.. You can serve it warm or cold..
This should be enough for eight small size bowls, but you will forgive me if am wrong, right ??
Enjoy.....


Noura
:)

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Oh What a Joy



Oh what a joy!!
its a girl ..not a boy
oh what a joy
a cute baby to enjoy
pink and more pink
all over the place
satin,velvet and lots of lace
when cute little feet hit the street
mommy's heart will be there to greet
when little nido's girl is here
she'll be welcomed with love and cheer
Oh what a joy
we will all say
God bless you
we all pray
mala2e6

~ To The Mom And Dad To Be . .


Am rarely speechless, but these days I am..!! Can you imagine ?? But enough is enough, am not going to let this stop me any longer..

I just wanted to let you know simply that am very happy for both of you, and even happier to have a small part in welcoming your little "Bannout" to the world.. To be watching you waiting, counting the days, changing with each phase..To share your excitement as your baby grows inside you, or when she gives you one of her powerful punches to let you know she is there..

It won't be long and you will have this little someone in your home as a gift and a blessing to add more joy and love to your family.. I know that you will treasure and pamper her, as am sure she will be so cute to wrap you right around her little finger..

So, let me give you a special forecast of your life : It will be mostly smiley, scattered toys, pink showers of flowers and a 100% happiness guaranteed..
Take care as your little one is on her way and the best is yet to be :)

Alf mabrook Nido and Jeej, inshallah b t2oumi b salameh ...

On a side note, and I have to brag a little bit here and to set the record straight, that I was the first one to predict that it's going to be a bannout, this is important because I've beaten the know it all Mr. Qwaider who thought he got it first.. looooool


Noura
:)

Girls are Sugar, Spice & Everything Nice.




A rosebud mouth, a tiny face


Two little arms that will embrace


A gift to fill an empty space


Thats your little baby.


an upturned nose, two eyes of blue(all babies are born with them lol)


A part of him, a part of you


A long time dream at last come true


Thats your little baby.


Two rosy cheecks, a patch of hair


You take her home to give great careand thank the lord hes put her there


Thats your little baby.


Happy Baby shower To Nido & and Baby girl :D
Batoul